by channamasala » Fri Apr 19, 2013 10:07 am
Let's take my "this is my rape moment" in Rajasthan.
I felt ashamed that I couldn't fight the little twerp off myself (seeing as I once ripped open the cheek of a mugger; I'm not exactly afraid to kick the shit out of someone who gets up in my face), how I wondered how I could have "let" that happen to me when I was supposed to be pretty good at independent travel, my wonder at why the commotion woke those men but not my female traveling companions. I must mention the migraines afterwards, from stress (although the rape didn't happen, it came pretty close) or the nightmares about that guy's horrible, slimy tongue trying to lick my neck.
To me that detail is important - it's the defining memory of that event. I even questioned the throwing-off-a-moving-train. I mean the guy quite likely died. Not from impact but later - we were in the middle of the desert in the middle of the night, hours from any settlements, and he might well have broken a bone on impact. I'll never know
if you want to know how I, as a woman, feel about rape, danger, and reporting rape, you better fucking ask me.
I'm the female that gets in pretty bad moods so you'd better watch out before you're the next one off the train.